


To Pretend

by poisonparty



Series: love notes [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Pre-Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 10:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16993659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonparty/pseuds/poisonparty
Summary: Dean hasn't talked to him in two days.





	To Pretend

Enough is enough, Cas decides. He glances to his right, sets his jaw and puts down his pencil.

 

“Dean?” he whispers. He hates how strained his voice sounds.

 

Dean is doodling a little in the corner of his math worksheet. All the answers are blank. His head doesn’t move and his hand doesn’t so much as stutter when Cas says again, “Dean?”

 

Dean ignores him.

 

He stares at the side of Dean’s head for a whole minute--sixty seconds he counts under his breath--before sighing and reluctantly returning to his worksheet.

 

Cas is a little worried. Dean hasn’t talked to him in two days, maybe hasn’t talked at all, and three days ago Mary Winchester disappeared into the night. Like a ghost. Cas might only be ten, but he knows enough. Dean always says he’s too smart. Dad says he’s too smart for his own good.

 

Mary hasn’t been the first to leave, though. At least for Cas. Dad--or as he likes to be called, _Chuck_ \--disappears sometimes, but only for a day or two, so it’s okay. Mostly. And Michael went off to school in California, and he only answers his phone sometimes, so Cas can’t even talk to him. Apparently, talking to his little brother everyday isn’t _cool_ now that he’s got new friends. Michael insists that he still loves Cas, but he just can’t talk whenever Cas feels like it. Whatever. Cas has Dean. But he also used to have Mary.

 

He loved Mary too. Sometimes he even called her mom. He feels a little guilty, sometimes, even if he never met his real mom. He likes to think she’d love him. Mary was always happy to have him over, he’d always eat her apple pie with Dean and Sam while John was passed out on the couch. He usually smells like disinfectant. Cas doesn’t like him much.

 

Who he does like, is Dean. Dean is his Best Friend, and even if Dean hasn’t talked to him in two days, it will be okay.

 

Dean, who’s moved his doodling from the corner of the page to the blank spaces under the equations where the answers are supposed to go. Obviously, this is going to be one of the many assignments Dean has ignored over the past two days.

 

It’s okay. When Dean feels better, Cas will help him with all the make-up work.

 

*

 

Mary has been gone for a week now, and Dean still hasn’t spoken. In fact, Cas has barely even _seen_ Dean. He comes to school and is silent, sits next to Cas at lunch and is silent, then leaves quickly when school is over to take Sam home. The walk to their house from school isn’t too far, but Dean usually waits for Cas. Which he hasn’t done for the past week. Dean might be acting like a ghost, but Cas is the one who feels like one.

 

Sometimes, Dean is the only one who sees him. But now no one does.

 

His house is dark when he gets back, which means Chuck isn’t home. Cas makes himself eat some cereal before going to bed early. Uncool, he knows, but the silence is overwhelming. Dean usually comes over when he’s home alone. But today there’s no Dean, no Mary, not even _Chuck_ \--Cas wants to close his eyes and wake up and have everything go back to normal.

 

It’s the kind of night where he wishes Dean would come over. They don’t always sleep in the same bed anymore, only sometimes. When Chuck has been gone for too long, or after Michael left for school, or when Cas feels so lonely he could scream. Dean always seems to know when Cas needs some comfort, though Dean never really seems to need any in return. And now, when Dean does need some, he won’t let Cas help.

 

Cas is wrapped up in his blankets, lights off and tears on his cheeks when his window knocks open. He jerks up, but it’s just Dean. Dean, with tear tracks and red eyes, perched on the tree outside his window. Dean doesn’t say anything, just stares.

 

Cas holds his blanket up in silent invitation, and Dean dives right under to huddle up against Cas. He pulls the blanket over their heads and wraps his skinny arms around Dean’s shivery shoulders, and whispers, “I missed you,” into Dean’s hair.

 

Dean winds one arm around Cas’s waist to tug him even closer. A silent _I missed you too_.

 

“You don’t have to talk, it’s okay. I’m still here.”

 

Dean just squeezes him and sniffles. But it’s okay. They’ll be okay.

 

“I’ll always be here.”

 

Cas knows it’s a dumb thing to say. He’s only ten, and surely his words can’t mean much. But Dean is pressed up against him so close there’s no space in between them, every inhale pressing their bony chests together, and Cas just needs him to know. Dean will always have Cas.

 

He presses a kiss into Dean’s hair just like Mary would have, just so Dean knows. Dean squeezes him a little and pets a hand down Cas’s back. It’s something Dean does sometimes when they hug. It kind of tickles, but the rhythmic motions seems to settle Dean a little, so Cas doesn’t say anything.

 

The next morning they both wake up with tear-crusted eyes, but Dean gives him a small smile before crawling back out the window.

 

Dean smiles at him at school later and runs his hand down Cas’s back a few times throughout the day, but his mouth stays shut.

 

Cas doesn’t know that he won’t hear Dean talk again for four months.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it's short, but this verse is a few establishing one shots leading up to a longfic. feel free to leave comments or kudos if you like :)


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